Monday, August 8, 2011

Ups and Downs. Heartache and sadness.

I think it's always harder when what was supposed to be a good week or day takes a turn for the worse. Maybe things wouldn't seem as bad if you hadn't had expected all to be happy and good. Such was the last week. My mom was coming to visit, we had a big event, mom was staying all week to hang out, then my bridal shower. The vent was great, fun, my best friends came out, me Audrey and my mom had a ton of fun. Then at dinner my mom got a call that my grandfather had a stroke. We got her a flight that evening out of San Diego up to Oregon and she was up there all week. Her poor dogs had no clue what was going up. All week it's been ups and downs on his health. Some days great improvement and some days major backsliding. I wish I could go up there, but really even if I could, my relationship with them hasn't been the best over the last decade. It had been years since they'd talk to me when I finally talked to them at my Aunts wedding a few years ago and even now, they don't call or write or anything. I send them cards sometimes but I miss them a lot. I miss my Papa the most. Then my bridal shower just ended up being a hang out with my geek squad (not my idea to call us that but it's definitely not a misnomer) plus me getting presents. I love my girls, knitting and hanging with them is always the best stress releiver. They are amazing people and I'm stuper damn stoked that I know them. I can let my inner geek out and they love me more for it :-)

So now I'm just trying to piece things back together. I basically took a mental health day today, spent time with my mom, had a good cry in my car this morning, got some stuff done. Lots of events coming up and school starts at the end of the month, so I'll be keepng busy. Luckily I get to see my mom quite a bit over the next month so there's at least that.

And I'm halfway done with my cowl. So basically I should just stop bitching eh? Things are never as bad as they sound in your head I guess.

On a parting note, if anyone prays or anything like that, please keep my grandpa in them. It would mean the world to me. Thank you.

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