Christmas presents

Knitting a Christmas present. I'm really digging this yarn. I want to make myself something with it.

Chili heatwave!! Not too bad!

Doctor who swap

I'm sending this box to a young gal in Australia for a doctor who swap. It was on raveley so I knit an adipose. Amber helped me try to master the kitchener stitch required for it. Basically she made me a cheat sheet, and it worked :-) better not lose that paper! Then I embroidered a dalek on a fleece blanket and made her four doctor buttons. I bought her a couple things on etsy, some stitch markers, cupcake things, a bracelet and bookmarks. I hope she loves it. I can't wait to see what I get in return!!

Some Days you should just stay in bed.

Today was one of those days. MOney troubles, a bad hair dye coloring, work stress, wedding stress, business stress. It just all piles up and some days I just can't hang. Sometimes I wish things were like they used to be. Work during the day then just watch TV or read at night. Or knit or sew. Now it's like non stop, stuff going on all the time, never a moment to spare. And often, I love it. I love doing events with Audrey, I like my co-workers, it's just even when I carve out a little time for myself it just doesn't seem like enough. I'm still thinking, worrying, planning, etc. I'm really really really looking forward to Ireland and London next month. Maybe 8 days of escape from life will help. Hopefully it doesnt make me just want to keep wandering. I like to wander. Maybe that's it. I don't get to wander ever. OH how I look forward to it. Fingers crossed I get a chance to catch my breath.

Randoms

So apparently I'm in a teal buying mode. I'm still loving the color of my yarn for my Cowl "teal-ish" and I bought these shoes at Marshall's the other day. THey're almost the exact same color! So I'll look color coordinated while knitting. Hey I try.
I found a song that makes me wish Brendan and I were going to have a first dance. It's called Kentish Town Waltz by Imelda May. It's so awesome. The chorus:

and we stuck with each other with all our might, we pulled it together and held real tight,
And I'm glad for us, I'm glad mo chroi but it's nothing to anyone except you and me
There were wrongs for every right, there's ups and theres downs
But you're the one for all my life, my true love I have found, yeah you my love I found


Alas, Brendan and I dancing = pointing and snickering by everyone around. I'll pass on that.

In other news my new girl crush is Olivia Wilde.
I want her skin. I WANT IT. I went to a dermotologist for the first time and she gave me prescription for $800 worth of creams that good ol WalMart got me for $20. SCORE. So in my head by the end of this I will have skin like hers. Yes I realize that might be completely not possible, but do I look like I care dammit? I WANT HER SKIN. Ooh I really like this pic of her. It's very English looking. Like she should go jump on a horse in the English countryside.


And lastly, I miss David Tennant. So I'm starting to rewatch all the old Who's with him in them. I just bought the Martha season. Even thought I hate Martha, I broke down and bought it jsut so I could own all the David ones. Have I mentioned that I'm HEARTBROKEN that Much Ado About Nothing starring him and Catherine Tate is ending it's run in london just like TWO WEEKS before I get there???? SADNESS!!!!!!!!
That's all for now!

My sister is awesome

My sister had a photo book made of my bachelorette at Disneyland! She's the best!!

Pity Party Averted

Last week I asked my mom if I could throw myself a pity party. One person had RSVP'd to my bridal shower and I was super bummed, feeling like I had no friends and that I was unimportant. Wah wah Wah. This along with my mom being gone when she was supposed to be visiting me and my grandpa being in the hospital I was just in a low mood. Today at work, we had a staff meeting at lunch. I went with my boss to pick up the food we ordered and when I came back they had turned teh conference room into a little surprise bridal shower. They pitched in and got us some stuff from our honeyfund.com account and some kitchenwares. It was awesome. Here I was thinking I was lame and unimportant and lo and behold they were just being sneaky.

I'm lucky to work at such a great office and I love my co-workers. I feel like I'm a part of this family even though I've only been here a little over 5 months :-)

So, as I said, Pity Party Averted.

 

Now back to work!

 

Ups and Downs. Heartache and sadness.

I think it's always harder when what was supposed to be a good week or day takes a turn for the worse. Maybe things wouldn't seem as bad if you hadn't had expected all to be happy and good. Such was the last week. My mom was coming to visit, we had a big event, mom was staying all week to hang out, then my bridal shower. The vent was great, fun, my best friends came out, me Audrey and my mom had a ton of fun. Then at dinner my mom got a call that my grandfather had a stroke. We got her a flight that evening out of San Diego up to Oregon and she was up there all week. Her poor dogs had no clue what was going up. All week it's been ups and downs on his health. Some days great improvement and some days major backsliding. I wish I could go up there, but really even if I could, my relationship with them hasn't been the best over the last decade. It had been years since they'd talk to me when I finally talked to them at my Aunts wedding a few years ago and even now, they don't call or write or anything. I send them cards sometimes but I miss them a lot. I miss my Papa the most. Then my bridal shower just ended up being a hang out with my geek squad (not my idea to call us that but it's definitely not a misnomer) plus me getting presents. I love my girls, knitting and hanging with them is always the best stress releiver. They are amazing people and I'm stuper damn stoked that I know them. I can let my inner geek out and they love me more for it :-)

So now I'm just trying to piece things back together. I basically took a mental health day today, spent time with my mom, had a good cry in my car this morning, got some stuff done. Lots of events coming up and school starts at the end of the month, so I'll be keepng busy. Luckily I get to see my mom quite a bit over the next month so there's at least that.

And I'm halfway done with my cowl. So basically I should just stop bitching eh? Things are never as bad as they sound in your head I guess.

On a parting note, if anyone prays or anything like that, please keep my grandpa in them. It would mean the world to me. Thank you.

I slack. I apologize.

When I first started this I totally thought I would blog often and talk about whatever. Then it was just sporadic and now I rarely do it. One of my closest friends has TWO blogs and another friend has an awesome knitting blog and here I am with my blah blah blog and I don't even put anything on it. OK I'm going to attempt to keep this bad boy up!
First thing on the agenda: KNITTING!
I've just started a new project for myself. It's the Infinitude Scarf by Jeni Chase that I found on Ravely. It was EXACTLY what I was looking for and I had my yarn all ready and waiting then..... realized I didn't have the right needles. BLAST! So I had to order them online. and wait. Okay it was only 2 days that I had to wait but still, I wanted to MAKE THIS!! So last night I get home and there are my needles.
I get out my AWESOME Sheep(ish) yarn in Teal(ish) and start knitting. And after casting on 240 stitches and doing half a round I realized this yarn MIGHT not have been the wisest choice. It's kind of itchy and fuzzy. Duh, it's wool. Well a wool blend. But.... I'm truly madly deepy in love with the color. Ooh wait wasn't that a Savage Garden song? Let's bring it back to Junior High! Wow haven't thought of that group in a while. ANYWAY, I decided I'm going to attempt to finish this scarf cowl wrap thing and then attempt to knit another one before we leave for ireland. THe whole poitn of this is so I have something to keep my head/neck warm while we're in freezing ass England and Ireland. So that's the plan.
In other news, my best friend is getting married in a mere couple weeks. EXCITING
and I'm going to see not one but TWO 100 monkeys shows at the end of Aug SUPER EXCITING
and then I get married Sept 10. Where has the time gone?!?!?!?!?

NO Drama Dammit

I refuse drama. I REJECT it! I will not have it in my wedding. So when a recent series of events went down I Had to stick to my guns and give Drama the boot.
Being who I am, and having gone through all that I have, it's really hard for me to see people veering down a bad path. I see the beginning twinkles of it, worry but generally let people live, because I know as well as any that attempts to right them are futile. And then something happens. And it did. With no excuse or reasoning, only defensivness and table turning, there was nothing for me to do. I tried to put it all out there and got slapped in the face with a big bowl of "It's your fault, you should've.." She was slated to be in my wedding and had so far done nothing, not even get excited for me. So I'm done. I hope and pray that she gets it together and moves up and onward, but I can't get sucked back into old lifestyle and old behavior. I've come too far. So, I have a new bridesmaid in my wedding and I'm honestly BEYOND excited. I think my wedding party are some of the most amazing rad fun people I know. My new bridesmaid is literally like a twin sister I didn't know I had. I laugh more with her then I even thought was possible.
And so life goes on. Work, wedding planning, stressing about business, enjoying moments with loved ones and just trying to smile and be happy whenever I can.

Monkey Regeneriziation

Is regenerization a word? It should be. That's I feel :-) Monkey REgenerized! So I did it again. One of those 25 hour days. Up a little before 4, went to an event with Audrey in San Dimas, hung out with Audrey and off to see the Monkeys in LA at the El Rey Theater. Met up with my Monkey Homies, Gloria and Holly and met Misty. We posted up in a good spot and stayed there the whole night. BEST SHOW EVER. I swear, this show was amazing. They played a TON of songs, I'm SUPER stoekd for their new album next month. I took a ton of pics, here's some of my fave Jackson ones. And Nikki Reed!






Anyway, makes me want to play music. I wish I had time to play again. Oh well.
School is out this week! I have three finals and Wednesday night is my last one! I've got so much shit going on this summer it's not even funny but it'll be nice to have evenings off again. Come Fll Semester I think I'm only taking the one accounting class, because I don't want to miss a bunch because of the wedding and honeymoon.
This summer, I want to knit more, run more and sew more! That's the plan!
oh and I already bought my tickets to see the 100 monkeys in Aug :-) Twice.

Wild wiener roundup!!!

25 Hours

UGH. Yesterday was MADNESS! I woke up at 4am. I had an event in San Marcos with Audrey of Healthy Bites Dog Treats. It was supposed to rain all day so I was relaly Not looking forward to it. But luckily we got there and it turned out ok! We had a big booth, sold quite a bit of stuff, talked to lots of people and helped raise money to cure canine cancer! Yay!
Then Audrey and I drove back to the LA area, we went to Ikea and Joanns, which are always a good time. Then I dropped off Audrey around 6pm and drove to Hollywood. The Monkeys were playing! Got there a little late, around 8pm. Some really awesome bands played, Polaris At Noon, Vanity Theft, Hunter Valentine. I made some friends, danced around, drank some enrgy drinks. Finally a little after midnight, they came on stage! THE MONKEYS!!!! YAYYYY


I have a renewed love for Jackson. I mean really, could he be any cuter/adorable? Jeez la weez. They opeend with Ugly Girl and through the night played the monkey song, shy water, Reaper, Sleeping Giants, and a bunch of other awesomeness, including some new songs off their next album. I was bummed they didn't play Junkie or Made of Gold but I don't think they play those at shows very often


The show ended around 2am and I drove home. Traffic in Hollywood was ridiculous. I finally got home a little before 5am. I had been up for 25 hours and that last 30 minutes of getting home was ROUGH. But it was worth it! Amazing, show, can't wait for them to come back to LA again soon! I'm going to try to make it to their shows whenever they're nearby!

I get to see my Monkey's tomorrow!!!!!!!

SCORE! Tomorrow is a 100 Monkeys concert! Can't wait! I'm going alone, but I dont even care, i'm going to have fun. Get to see my other imaginary boyfriend sing and dance and play music haha
My work has been going great. I really like everyone I work with and the work itself isn't too difficult, but keeps me busy and the days go by quickly. School is good too, I like my classes, just a lot of work but I'm glad I decided to only take three this semester. It's really hard to keep up with making things for Bop and Rocksy, but I'm trying.
AND one of my awesome friends is having a little bday party on Monday and I'm going to attempt a birthday cake for her. Hope my plan for it works out
And life goes on!

Torchwood

In case you haven't noticed, I'm on a Torchwood bender now. I just finished the first season and will be starting the second this weekend. I mean HELLO! Captain Jack Harkness:

Life has been crazy for me with school and work. Mon-Wed I go to work at 8 and finish school at 10pm. It's hectic but Hey, that's life right? I try not to complain too much! and my favorite author has a book coming out in a couple weeks that I'm BEYOND excited for!!!! Yay for Feb! :-)

Yessssssssss!

I found this at Borders for $8!!!!! What a score! I Loved this show as a kid!!

Darn it.

I've finished all the Doctor Who's from the new version so I've now moved on to Torchwood. I'm making my way through the first Season and totally love it. Not as much as Doctor Who, but I like all the different characters. In the first episode, one of the women I recognized from Rome. Pretty awesome. Except she didn't make it past episode one ha.
Anyway, I was thinking about my previous post, trying to decide between my three leading men. Then I started really thinking about it. Hmmmm, David Tennant: Engaged with a pregnant fiancée. Matt Smith: Dating a model (Gavin Rossdales daughter). John Barrowman: Gay and has a husband (well civil partnership I think). Darn!!!
In other news, I stumbled across an awesome blog recently: Dangerous Romance. She blogs about urban fantasy and paranormal romance books (my fave). I recently won a contest and will be getting an Advanced Reading Copy of a new book! I'm super excited to get it! If anyone reads this blog, check hers out! haha
Back to Torchwood. I sort of like Owen, he's kind of an ass. The actor that plays him's real name is Burn. Who names their kid Burn? He has an interesting mouth.

Whoa!

Started a job and school this week! It's a temporary job, but I like it and the people are nice and I'll just hope that maybe at the end of tax season they'll find a reason to keep me :-) School is good, but man I'm going to be busy!
Remember my super secret project I'd been working on and was having a hell of a time finishing? well I finished it! No it wasn't the Christmas present it was originally supposed to be but luckily for moi, my friends bday is in Feb! So she got her present today!
Not sure if you can see the leaf motif in the white but MAN that was rough. I ripped it out probably 3 or 4 times because I just kept messing it up. But you know what? It was all worth it because she LOVED it!! YAYYYYYY!
But sadly, the day took a turn for the worse when I realized today was the day Comic Con tickets went on sale and they were sold out when I went and checked. WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? How am I supposed to hunt down and abduct Matt Smith now?!?!!? It's not fair!!! Why is the universe against me????
So, to make myself feel better, I downloaded Torchwood Season 1. I mean really, if Captain Jack Harkness can't make me feel better, then who can? I mean besides the 10th or 11th doctor. I'm sure they would make me feel better. Hmmmm now there's a dilemma, David Tennant, Matt Smith or John Barrowman? Something to ponder while falling asleep tonight! :-)

Moms make everything better

My mom decided to come visit this past weekend. I didn't realize how much I needed to hang out with her. She makes everything better. Not by doing anything really, just by being herself. I can always count on my mom :-) I'm still feeling a lot of the crap I've been freaking out about lately but I'm also feeling stronger and better all around. I found out I got an extension on my unemployment so the fact that I haven't found a job yet isn't going to put us in the poor house yet. Brendan built me a ribbon holder recently and my mom and I put all my ribbon on it. No surprise it's already full but it'll definitely help keep the office a bit cleaner and more organized.I also was able to find an Adipose knitting pattern, SCORE. and I'm working on a Dalek dishcloth for my friends husband. He let me borrow all his Doctor Who DVDs so it's a thank you. I hope he'll like it. I've got like a million things I want to knit! I've been feeling knitty. So I'll be working on a blanket for my sisters new baby due in May, the dishcloth, a bear for the new baby, an adipose and my knitting group project of a sweater thing with this amazing cable tree on the back. It's beautiful, hope I'm able to make it.
School starts next week and I"m looking forward to it. Need to get books but don't have the money right now so not sure how that'll work but something will happen. And Audrey and I are doing our next event in Feb and then a few more after that so that'll be fun too. Lots going on in the near future. But first things first, I'm turning 28 tomorrow and I'm spending the day at Disneyland! Disneyland makes everything better. I'm sure of it!

Escape

Perhaps it has to do with the new year. Or my birthday next week. Or my 10 year high school reunion. Or my wedding in September. Whatever the reason, I'm feeling that urge to run. Escape. Not Deal. I don't know what it is, but I've just been sad lately. Maybe I spend too much time alone. Just feel like a damned hamster in those dumb little wheels. Spinning, spinning, spinning and going no where. I feel so tied down. Through my dark times, what I have now is all I ever wanted. A home, getting married, one day starting a family. But as I'm getting these things, the more I feel like I'm missing out on. Is this life just what I'm "supposed" to be doing? Who signed up for this? And where does it go? What's the end game here? I read so much, it's always been my way of getting out of my every day life. Probably why I love fantasy and such, extraordinary people and circumstances. Same with movies and TV, following characters who are DOING things. There aren't shows or books or films about people who work all day and come home and make dinner then watch TV. Growing up, I wanted to visit Australia. I had a pen pal there once. I dreamed of visiting her and just staying, immersing in the culture. Or what about Italy, trying to learn a new language but being surrounded by amazing things like the Coliseum. Maybe I'm watching too much Doctor Who, but I want to go places. Do things. See things. I'm so scared that one day I'm going to wake up and it'll be too late. Damn you mortgage, car payment and credit card debt. Damn you! My lack of finding a job and school starting soon probably aren't helping my mood/fears either. I guess I'm just feeling bad for myself, Wahhh poor Renee. Jeez I sound like a whiny baby. I'm really over this whole thing. It's kind of nice having a place to put all this out there though. Makes me feel like I'm really saying it, not just thinking it and letting it stew inside my head. And now I have Brain Stew by Green Day stuck in my head. Not very helpful. Back to the grind.

Kiwi's Etsy Love Swap #1

Etsy is one of my favorite wesbites ever. There's so much to see/find on there. Things I've wanted and things I never even knew I wanted! It's flippin awesome. Swap-bot is another awesome website. Put the two together and we've got an awesome swap that we check out each others stores! Genius! Here are my 5 new friends:
CraftGecko - really cute stuff! Love this pendant Really cute idea! Also a couple items for Breast Cancer Awareness, which is close to my heart since my aunt and Grandma both had it. Beautiful stuff!
Panda Love - If you like Kawaii, this is the store for you! Baggies full of Kawaii stuff like memo sheets and stickers! I love how cute this stuff is! Makes me wish I wrote or did something that I could use it!
The Fiction Dept - The postcard collector in me really thinks these are just amazing. I always hate throwing out postage, wishing there was something to do with it, because some stamps are just so beautiful.
Kelly Zarb - Beautiful, Colorful & Whimsical. I love the word whimsical, don't feel like I get to use it often enough. But I just love this little bird, sitting on it's branch on a pattern no less. These things never even would pop into my head. So darned creative!
Lampshades N Lollipops - Oh my. This shop was just out there waiting for me to find it. I mean really, I've been on my Doctor Who marathon for a few days now (finishes Series 1, 2, half of 4 and half of 3) and then in a swap I come across a site with little blue police box earrings??? If I could wear earrings (can't, allergic) I would buy these in a second! I love them! And I love this store!

And this concludes our etsy post for the day. Awesome site, Check. It. Out.

Books and Nerdom and Converse

A good friend of mine has amazing dreams. Like dreams that would be awesome books or stories or movies. I love hearing her dreams. I dream, but rarely remember it, and they're usually not anything exciting. The other night, though, I had a dream! A good one! The kind that I woke up, got my phone and started typing the ideas I could remember. I sent the gist of it to my friend and she said I should write it out. A book? Me? Pshhhaaawww. But....... it might be fun. So although I have no idea where to start I'm going to attempt to get it down on paper.
In other news, I've watched all of Dr. Who series 4 in about 3 days and I'm in love. The Doctor even wears Converse. Now, I don't think his collection is as random as mine:
but nonetheless, it's awesome. Makes me feel ok about continuing to buy converse haha. I've seen some really cool custom chucks that I've been eyeballing. So anyway, that's all I've got going for now. Still looking for work, school starts in a couple weeks and I'm almost done with my Top Secret Knitting Project! Things are A-ok.

Wedding Makeup

I know it's early to think of these things, but alas, I am. I love makeup and color and stuff and I want to be sure I know exactly what I want for my wedding day. One of my dilemma's is if I'll still be a redhead. I used to be a brunette, I was for a very long time, even in our engagement pictures:
During the summer I decided I needed a change and went red. I LOVE it. I feel like it's very me. The only downfall is the upkeep. Dark roots showing the world I'm not a natural red, darn them! But luckily my hair gal is a friend of mine and an amazing magician with hair. She's seriously AWESOME. Shanyce at J Russell Salon in Palm Desert!
Anyway, so Dilemma #1: Brown or Red? On one had I miss my brown hair, it was healthier, curled better, was so EASY. I had the whole super pale skin, dark hair thing going haha. But I've been told numerous times that my hair red looks totally natural and I totally pull it off. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Okay, next to think/worry about. Makeup. Natural? Retro? Smokey eye? I'm slightly obssesd with blogger/youtube makeup GENIUS Kandee Johnson, her makeup tutorials are so awesome, I could watch them all day. She has a wedding one, that's a sort of smokey eye that I think is beautiful. I also like the video on fall makeup look A LOT. If you like playing with makeup, check her blog and videos out, I could watch them forever, they're awesome.
Well I have some time to think about it, so I'll have to start putting together ideas and looks for my hair and makeup, try them out and see what works!

The Girlfriend Factor

I have an interview with the Girlfriend Factor today at 1:15. They're an organization here in the Coachella Valley that gives grants to women going back to college. Like ME! School starts at the end of the month and having help to pay for even just books would be amazing. It's ridiculous how expensive books and school is. Last semester if I had bought all my books new, they would've been over $600. No wonder I can't save money! Okay, bad excuse but still.
In other news, I don't think I got that job. The recruiter woman called me and said that they said they didn't think I was a good fit. But it was weird because she said that the woman said I didn't seem sure of myself. But I never interviewed with the woman. Oriana said maybe they were confusing me with someone else and she'd check on it, but as of right now that's where it stands. It's really a bummer and frustrating and also makes me just like nervous for any future interviews. I never thought I came across that way, but who knows. So, onward I go, applying to as much as I can and hope something works out.

Save the Dates and Invitations

With a little over 8 months until our wedding, it's time to start getting on top of things. I just ordered our invitations online. We're doing the kind that you print yourself, we just pay for the file. I thought this would save us some money and I found a seller on etsy and I'm IN LOVE with the invitations. Gerbera daisies are our flower and Red is our color. The invitations perfectly reflect that! I would post a pic but I want it to be a surprise.
Also, not everyone knows, but I collect postcards. I've been doing it for a while, have hundreds from all over the world. So my save the dates are actually postcards that we had made :-) I'll be sending the save the dates out by the end of the month!
Ooh, I just thought of something. This will be my last birthday as a single woman! haha. I'll be turning 28 on Jan 25. I just know that this wedding is going to sneak up on me and be here before I know it! :-)

Best new foundation

I'm always hunting for foundation. I seem to have a tough time finding the right color. Sometimes people put one that's too pink or peach. Uh hello, my face already gets pink why would I add to that? So finally I stopped asking the overly helpful sales people and started testing them myself when they were busy with other people ha. I went to estee lauder because I heard their long wear foundation was great. The counter lady there smokes so when she's trying to touch your face it's really gross. So I especially avoid her. But when I tried it on I was pleasantly surprised by how natural it looked. Well natural but better! Yayyyyy
PS - going to Disneyland for my bday at the end of the month. Yea!